from miles above…

[written night of December 11, 2008. posting morning of December 12, 2008, about 15 minutes before I leave to my appointment]

There will never be more free time than while waiting for a plane, which is exactly what I was doing, oh, about two hours ago. Yes my friends, I am midair, on my way HOME. 🙂

My flight was scheduled to leave at 6:00 pm, was first delayed to 6:50, then to 7:00, then 7:05, and finally, 7:11. All because of a little light drizzle. Either way, I’m on the plane now a few thousand feet above the ground, I’ll get there when I get there so no more complaining from me! I should be really grateful – the rest of my NU buds are stuck at school for another WEEK! Hahhaha.. suckers! 😉 Kidding. But let’s not kid – it was amazing that all of my finals were the week before finals week. I had my last critique in architecture (EVER) on Wednesday night, and after that, I checked out. SO EXCITED to be going home!

An update on the hip: I went in on Tuesday afternoon to see Dr. Millis at Children’s, and we retook the same x-rays I hade done on Oct. 30th to see if there have been any improvements. The fracture is still not healed, but it does look like it’s improving. Dr. Millis also said he doesn’t feel like surgery is “necessary” at this point. He also seemed very adamant on the fact that he does not want to be the one to make the final decision. Fair.. I guess. I’d really like to take that notion and run with it though.. run very, very far.

So, tomorrow at 11:00 am I will be back at the University of Minnesota, although this time I’m no student – I’m a patient. Dr. Clohisy, the chief of the Orthopedic Surgery department will be giving a second opinion, and “we” will be making a decision on how to proceed from there.  Here’s where I feel there could be some discrepancy in opinions:

  1. Dr. Millis is a specialist in hips… one of the best in fact. My fracture is scary to him, and to all other orthopedic doctors, as it should be. He wants to do what is the best to heal that fracture, and prevent it from breaking all the way through. He also wants me to have the freedom to be a runner again. He understands how important it is to me, and will do whatever it takes to make that a possibility.
  2. Dr. Clohisy.. well, I haven’t met him yet. We have talked over the phone, though only briefly. Dr. Clohisy is a specialist in bone tumors, which, when it comes down to it, is what fibrous dysplasia is. The fracture is also scary to him, but he is going at it with the fibrous dysplasia in mind. I do not know yet what FD will mean for my future, and the shitty thing is, no one does. Every case is different, nothing is guaranteed, and you can only take it day by day. Type A me + that mentality = a rough time.

I am hoping and praying with all my might that surgery is NOT necessary. I would like to try using the bone growth stimulator first, as well as exploring what other options are out there. In my opinion, surgery should be a last resort. Ahhh this waiting game is killing me!! In one second I say what I just said – surgery being a last resort. Then in the next second my mind goes – “Well, maybe you should just do it. What if it makes you stronger in the long run.” And then, as the cycle continues, it goes to “What if the surgery makes it so you can never run again!?”, and then “What if I can never run again if I DON’T have surgery!?”

You see how tiring this gets.

And speaking of tiring, that = me. I’m gonna try and get some rest for the last little bit of my flight, and hopefully I post this before I leave for my appointment tomorrow morning, or this will have been a waste.

Thanks for all the support you guys have been giving me over these last couple of months (and ALWAYS). It really means a lot to know that other people care, or are at least interested. Love yall. 😀 (p.s. sorry.. obvi no time to upload any photos right now. I have some fun ones for later though.)

E

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7 Responses

  1. Best of luck with the appointment! All will be fine. Must be good to be out of school for a lil bit!

  2. Hey,

    Glad you had some sort of good news re. the fracture etc. I realise this is a ridiculously hard time for you all…..particularly being a fellow type A person 😉 My only advice to you would be that once you have made a decision, stick with it. Try and avoid contemplating the what ifs? …and is this the right decision questions as torturing yourself over and over will do no good. Maybe being at home you will have more of a chance to talk with your parents about it too. If they reassure you about what the decision is then this may help to relieve some of the contradicting thoughts. I believe that running will be an option in the furure for you. It may take longer than you would like to get back, depending on the route that is chosen, but you are determined and strong willed. Both of these qualities will only help you recover faster. Keep strong girl, Im routin’ for ya!

  3. Just checking in on ya sperly–*big hug*

  4. yeah you are so lucky to be home already!! i hope your appointment goes well today and hopefully you find out good news that will get u back up and running!!! i cant believe how well you are hanging in there and how positive your posts have been! keep it up, and have a great holiday!!

  5. I hope surgery won’t be necessary for you, either. But take it easy and try not to worry about it too much. 🙂

  6. Good luck with your appointment today!! I hope it all goes well and you and the doc can figure the best treatment for you right now. I’ll be crossing my fingers that whatever happens = you running again.

  7. ES GO HOME!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY for home!! YAY for appointments!!!! YAY for still being my role model even though you’re younger!!!!! YOU ARE A SUPER BAMF!!!! 🙂

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