a lil Tuesday inspiration…

Definitely was struggling with a case of the Mondays yesterday.. I found this quote though last weekend, and it really brought me out of my lil mood swing. I thought I’d share, in case anyone else is finding themselves down n out today. 

Some people are not going to like you no matter what you do or what you say. Get over it and get on with life.

Some of your efforts are not going to bring the results you were after. Accept it and find another approach.

Occasionally you’ll be distracted and knocked off course for a while. On a regular basis, life will have its disappointments.

Those disappointments and distractions do not have to stop you. In fact, you can choose to let them inspire you and to push you forward.

No matter what has just happened, you are free in this moment to act with positive purpose. Whether the past has worked in your favor or not, the future is yours to create as you wish.

Life is too important to waste it feeling sorry for yourself or beating yourself up. Get up and get on with life, and make it match your highest expectations.

— Ralph Marston

I donno who Ralph Marston is.. but amen to that.

Happy Tuesday folks!

Paging Dr. Sperl-Imhoff…

Friday again! It was a quick week, especially with the day off on Tuesday for Veterans Day. It was a nice break since it was only the 2nd day we’ve had off since the beginning of the year. Well, once again – I’m sitting in World Arch right now, so I’m gonna keep this post short and sweet to the point.. here we go!

Hip Update:

Um. Nothing. Pretty much status quo here. I am a little frustrated because the surgeon in Minneapolis called, and of course I was in class so he had to leave a message. I called back and left a message with his secretary. She said he’d call me back. He hasn’t called me back. Gaaah.

I sent my doctor here an email asking if I could come in for a follow-up appointment. My mom sent him an email. She sent another email. Neither of us have heard back. Aaah!

Aright.. I get that both of these men are highly regarded and very busy. But shouldn’t I get a response within a week? Yes, right? I’m just starting to feel really desperate because for some reason, this last week I hit the realization that surgery should be a last resort. I would much rather take another month or so off now than have surgery and not be back on my feet until June. Maybe I’m just getting scared, but I really don’t want to have surgery (duh) and don’t want to jump the gun here. 

PLUS… both doctors were supposed to talk about me using a bone growth stimulator. And if I’m gonna use it, I want to get started as soon as possible. Everyone I’ve talked to who has used one said they wish they started using it sooner. Where did my doctors go? This is really unusual of them – I’ve always gotten responses right away either by phone or email, so I’m just not sure what to think right now. Out of town? I feel like the secretary would have called me back…

School Update:

I’m getting so excited for my major change. Did I talk about that yet? I think so.. but if not – I’m officially pre med!! Actually, not officially until the start of the spring semester I guess, but it’s official in my book! I register on Monday, which is possibly the most stressful experience EVER. Is that just me, or is it really stressful for all you other college kids too? I literally lose sleep over it. I have a pretty set schedule of what I need to take next semester, since I’m basically a semester behind everyone else. Damn architecture. 😉 Luckily I had all my general core classes covered with all my transfer credits from the University of Minnesota.. but that also means I will have zero electives until.. forever. I’m going to be in school till I’m like 30. And I’m SO EXCITED! 😀 I don’t have the times squared away yet, but next semester I’ll be taking:

  • BIO 111 – General Bio 1
  • BIO 112 – Lab
  • CHM 211 – General Chem
  • CHM 212 – Lab
  • PSY 101 – Foundations of Psychology
  • BHS 105 – Nutrition

I’m gonna be Dr. Sperl-Imhoff. Yessssir.

Don't you see the resemblance?

Other News…

My dad and sister are coming out on the 26th for Thanksgiving, and staying till the 30th (which is my birthday!!) and I can’t WAIT for them to get here! Unfortunately we wont’ be doing as much trekking around as my dad and I did when we were out here last January, but it should still be tons of fun. I’m so excited to see them, especially since I’ve been feeling a little homesick this last week. I really miss my mom too, but she was out here mid October for parents weekend, and I’ll get to see her in a month at Christmas. It’s good to break it up a little, so I’m happy with the way we set this up. 

 

Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving!

 

 

Pool running has been going well.. but one of my best friends who goes is going to be returning to running soon. Like tomorrow soon. I’m obviously really happy for her, but sad that I wont see her as much. 

I’ve been keeping up the group fitness classes at the Marino. I took Pilates yesterday, but unfortunately I gotta say I won’t be taking that again. It just wasn’t that challenging. I loved the pilates I did at home for all the core work it gave me, but this class didn’t really incorporate much of that at all. I took spinning again this morning (60min class this time – woo!), and I’m still liking that the best of the group classes. I’m pretty limited in what I can take, since all the other classes are like jumping around cardio that probably wouldn’t be a good idea for my little fractured friend FemoralNeck. So. Spinning it is. And abs.. I’ll keep that one too, even though it isn’t that hard – the teacher is a ton of fun.

Haha I just wrote for half of this class period. I will say though, I am quite an efficient multi-tasker. I’m still pullin an A in this class, and I’ve been doing this all semester. 😀 One more thing before I leave, as is tradition here on Fridays. BTW.. when I wrote this last week, you guys were supposed to add your OWN confessions! I can’t be the only one being a little bad all week..

Friday Confessional:

  1. I conveniently scheduled my advising appointment to be right in the middle of class yesterday, leaving me unable to attend. Mind you, I’m rockin an A in there too.. everyone needs a break once in a while. 😉
  2. I skipped Students for Environmental Action (it’s just a club.. not a class) when I said I’d be there to take Pilates last night. Too bad pilates blowed..
  3. Hmm.. I guess I really haven’t done that much this week. Good! Hahah I’m sure I’ll think of more as the day goes on.. 

Friday Confessionals

Not gonna lie.. I’m not really really not satisfied with my mood lately. I feel like I’m either super-up, or super-down, but it’s always on one extreme or the other. Last Saturday was ridiculously miserable for some reason, but then Sunday was a new day and just fine. I’m not down with this whole roller coaster of emotions deal, so what am I supposed to do?

My days either seem to look like this:

or they look like this:

but there is no happy medium. What I attribute this to is my lack of an outlet. Everyone has (or needs) an outlet, and mine has been ripped from my hands [for the time being] and placed on a top shelf that I can’t reach. Clearly I’m referring to running.. and I just don’t know what to do. Whenever I was under stress in the past, I would run. It wouldn’t need to be for long, it wouldn’t need to be “on the schedule”, it didn’t matter the time of day, I’d just go and get out for a mile (or 10) and clear my mind. No music. No company. Just me and my breathing and my feet on the street, and my problems would melt away.

Here’s where I turn to you guys – maybe you have some suggestions for me. I know some people bake. Some people do yoga. Some people scrapbook. No offense to any of those things, they’re all great if you enjoy it, but it just doesn’t cut it for me. People say “you should be thankful – at least you can still do stuff to stay active” referring to swimming and pool running and cycling. Um, sure.. I can sweat. I can still “workout”. That doesn’t mean I’m enjoying it. I never ran to “work out”. Well, OK maybe that’s an overstatement – sure you have tempos and intervals when you’re in training, but seriously, I don’t even like that phrase.. workout. Ick. That’s what the gym is for. And I would take the outdoors, rain or shine, snow or 90 heat, ANY day. 

I know there are at least a few readers who have been through this before. Well, not this probably, but this as in an extended period of time off. And that’s what this is, because like I said before, I will be back. 🙂 So I’m asking.. how did you do it? What did you find to release your stress when you couldn’t do what you love the most? I know everyone has “off days”, but this is different than that. I had “off days” still when I could run. All I can say is that these are just extremely unpleasant.. and not something I want to experience again. Ever. (Ideal world right? I know I’m being a touch extreme.. just indulge me for now)

As I desperately await suggestions, I want to introduce something I’d like to make a staple here on RRR (in attempts to hole me responsible to posting more frequently), and that something I’d like to call Friday Confessional. A little signature trademark, if you will, that you know you’ll always find here. We used to do this over on Runners World every now and then, but I haven’t seen anyone post up in a long time, so now I’m takin’ it and makin’ it mine. 🙂 It’s a good way to let out some of the things you may feel guilty about. Hopefully no one takes offense at anything confessed, because it’s supposed to be all honesty – no holding anything back. Feel free to add your own in the comments! It feels good to get it off your chest.

 

  1. I’ve become rather spiteful without running. I’ve seen other people running outside or hearing them talk about running and wished they couldn’t run too. It’s like if I can’t run, no one else should. 😦
  2. I stole my roommates pack of Cinnamon Spice gum off her desk. Sorry Laur – I owe you.
  3. I ODed on Cinnamon Toast Crunch one night in the beginning of the week. I literally had FIVE bowls. Just dry. Back to back.  And I felt sick as hell afterwards/the next morning. It was completely emotional and very delicious. But I don’t need to do that again.
  4. I paid $55 for unlimited group fitness at the Marino. And I’m yet to take ONE class. I signed up for abs tonight and spinning tomorrow morning.
  5. I accidentally brought home a pool belt from the Y. And it is sitting under my bed. And it’s mine. 

 

Haha in efforts to not make myself look like a completely terrible person, I will stop there and call it a day. This week has been less stressful than the last for sure, and I’m hoping for a low key weekend. I signed up for a 30 minute abs class tonight which I’m excited for, and a 45 minute spinning class tomorrow morning which I’m not so excited for, but I gotta try it some time! One thing that could possibly annihilate my low key conquest is the fact that there will be FOURTEEN people in our suite this weekend (us six, plus L’s swimming recruit, T’s two friends, L’s two friends, and the other L’s three visiting boys). I’ll get over it sleep next door. It will look a little like this, minus the costumes, plus five people, plus lots more mess. 

Time for an exam.. I’m typing this in History of World Arch.. hope this stuff on Muqarna arches isn’t important! (KIDDING mom! Hope you didn’t just have a heart attack.) See you all soon.. and I wanna hear some Friday Confessions!

my life as it unfolds..

This is basically a copy/paste from what I wrote in my daily Runners World thread this morning, so I apologize if you already read, but it’s definitely time for an update. And don’t say I didn’t warn you – this is a novel:

I haven’t posted much this last week because between class, homework, work, and doctors appointments there has been literally NO time. AND the fact that I talking about this whole hip mess when things are still up in the air just makes me 10x more stressed. When I’m not for sure about what’s going to happen, that’s when things go downhill. 

Well.. now it’s [for the most part] for sure – when I go home at christmas I’m going to have surgery. “For the most part” because now the doctors and I have to decide WHICH surgery I’m going to have. The less invasive option (#1) would be to place pins running through my femoral neck to stabilize the area of fibrous dysplasia. The more intensive option (#2) would be to completely cut my femur all the way through, and reposition it to fix the angle that it has deformed into over the years (from the FD). There would also have to be plates put in to keep the area solid. 

Surgery #1 would take less recovery time, but without fixing that angle of my femoral neck there’s chance of refracturing, and I will still most likely always limp. 

Surgery #2 is a longer healing process, but maybe it would be better in the long run?

I only have a 2 week christmas break, but I’m thinking I’ll be able to go home a week early because none of my professors decided to have their finals during actual FINALS week. SO, hopefully I’ll be able to get out of my one Friday class which would be the 12th of December, fly home the 11th (Thurs), have surgery the next day, and have until the 4th of January when I need to be back. Of course all of this depends on whether or not the surgeon can do it at that time too. 

There is just so much “unknown” in this situation.. and for someone as type A as me, that’s really hard. I want to know that if I have surgery #1, it’s going to last in the long run. I want to know if I do surgery #2, I’ll be able to run again. And I don’t just want to run again. I was never just an “average” runner. I raced. I did marathons. I was part of a team.

The orthopedic surgeon that I’m working with here is amazing. He’s apparently the best in Boston for orthopedic surgery, and more specifically, for hips. He came in yesterday (Saturday MORNING) and talked with me for almost FOUR hours, when Children’s doesn’t even operate on the weekends! We were like the only ones there aside from some other employees! He gets that I don’t want to just “run”, and he wants to do everything possible to make that an option. I’m just scared now because he wont be the actual one doing the surgery. The surgeon back in MN is the chief in the department of orthopedic surgery at the University of MN, and he has tons of accreditations to his name. My doctor HERE has even worked with him before, and he attests that he’s a great guy. I just get scared that he’ll have a different attitude with me – a lot of people have given me the eye roll when I talk about returning to running again.

I do realize that I may need to readjust my expectations. It may not be possible that I can ever run distance again. I may never be able to race again. Let’s be real – I may never even be able to run again. But there are a lot of people out there who have it worse than I do right now. It’s not like they need to amputate my leg, I’m not going to die from this, it’s not cancer, etc. I’m just sortof in this whirlwind right now of the anticipation of surgery (even though its like 40 days away) and the uncertainty of what my life will be like after this. I have no clue.

My doctor sent me home with some goodies:

It’s pretty easy to see the area that is fibrous dysplasia on my left side. It’s that whole encircled section.

You can see it here too. Children’s has their own photo viewing software, but it’s made for PCs so trying to run it through Parallels on my mac is giving me a headache. If I figure it out more later on I’ll get more posted, but right now I have a buttload of work to do today, so I should get started on it. Hope everyone had a nice weekend. I’ll hopefully be back soon!