Mini update – My sports med. doctor put  in an order for a BONE GROWTH STIMULATOR for me.. so I am going to start using that as soon as (knock on wood) my insurance approves it and they get it out to my house!

I have never used one before, but a girl from the XC team last year used one on her foot for a metatarsal fracture. Here’s what it would look like if you broke your radius or something…

Only somehow it will fit differently to sit on my left groin basically and send its magical wishes to my femoral neck. IMO, you can never be sure if it’s the stim that is actually working, or if it’s just the fact that you are taking time off of _____ (running, skating, etc.) that actually heals it. I will try just about anything though at this point! (Nerd alert: as if you couldn’t tell from my title..) It feels like this is straight outta Harry Potter here!

Wish me luck my friends! In the mean time.. get your rear in gear and go enter my GIVEAWAY. Only four days left!

Love,
-E

A little link love for other giveaways while I’m at it…

Tri to Cook.. how does people get this stuff?

Well, if the post doesn’t give a hint, the status on the hip is not very positive. Waking up today, I had the feeling that it was going to be one of those days… 10 minutes before my alarm went off someone called my cell phone and woke me up (suuuch a big pet peeve! I know I’m not the only one), it started pouring just before our last “long” run this morning, I was dropping sh!t all day, the bus was late, shoes were soaked, just in general I got that no-good-can-come-of-this feeling. 

On the [very late] bus on the way to school [in the rain] I got a call from my doctor with the results of yesterdays tests. (Haha.. am I painting enough of a dramatic picture here? Ok.. I’ll cut it..) The bone scan had shown “abnormal activity” in my left hip, and PET/CT showed that there was indeed a fracture in the inferior femoral neck. Basically right in the same place it was almost exactly a year ago (“last fateful run”… Sept. 29th, 2008). I am thinking that the fracture healed after surgery with all that rehab time, but that in amping up my mileage for this marathon (Twin Cities.. 9 days from today) I refractured it. 

(Rehab post-surgery: December, 2008)

Given my medical history and the fact that I have fibrous dysplasia.. am I surprised? Yes and no. I thought the fracture would have for sure healed, but now that I think about it, when you have fibrous dysplasia, it is essentially scar tissue where it’s supposed to be bone. So if it’s not “real bone”.. then how can it generate new bone growth if there is no “bone” there to begin with? Am I making sense? 

So I had all of this gloomy glorious day to sit and dwell contemplate. What am I going to do from here? What about the marathon? If there’s no marathon.. can I still run.. at all? Can the severity of the fracture be quantified? Is it as bad as last time? It doesn’t feel as bad as last time… What about the marathon? What about cross-training – is that still OK? Am I going to be back on crutches? How long will this take to heal? And.. what about the effin’ marathon!?!

My doctor is pretty amazing.. no doubt about that. I would definitely recommend him to anyone in the TC area who is dealing with an athletic injury. If you want his name, I can definitely pass it on to you, but I’m not sure if he would want his name publicly included in this so I will just leave it at that. Anyways, being the amazing doctor that he is, I have his phone number, his email, I see him at my restaurant, and he said I could call with any questions I had. Seeing as that questions were ample, I wrote down all the valid ones, and called him after class. (Just about 15 minutes ago actually.. I am posting again via public transportation – the 114 bus.)

Regarding the “Will it ever heal?” question, he wanted to consult with a doctor who specialized in fibrous dysplasia before giving me an answer. I really appreciate that, because that plays a huge role in what I decide to do about the marathon. If the answer is “no”, then that means I will probably not be able to ever DO another marathon, in which case I might just say eff that, and make TC my last. If the answer is a definite “yes”, and the prognosis is that I will be able to still competitive run distance, then I would probably hold off on TC.

My question about “How severe is the fracture? Is it as bad as last time?” had an answer.. and that one was at least positive. The answer is no, at least not right now. Last year I was given crutches.. I was limping hard core.. it was bad. And I knew that. The fracture doesn’t at all feel like it did then, and just looking at the scans, the doctor was able to say that “this time”.. it isn’t “as bad”. 

(edit: location change – I’m off the bus, at home, and about 4.5 hours out from when I started this post.. went over to my mom’s house.)

And finally, “So what about the marathon?” All sorts of crazy illogical thoughts have gone through my mind about that today, from “of course you can’t run it” to “there’s no way I put all that effort in for nothing…” Up until just a little bit ago, my head was not even able to make one concrete thought and stick with it for more than a minute. Talking to my mom really helped, and so did talking to the doctor. At the current moment, my train of thought is somewhere along the lines of this: I will not run at all right now until race day. I will run TC, but not race it. After that, no running the fracture heals. (That is if it CAN heal.) 

I know I’m going to get mixed reactions to this one.. some people will say that that’s being ridiculous – what good can running the marathon do? It will only set you back. Other people might agree.. I guess just depending on your background, your opinion will be different. Like I said though, that is just my CURRENT thought.. and my current thoughts have been changing like every 5 minutes so nothing is set in stone here, and I’m not holding myself to anything. Twin Cities marathon is 9 days away, and I’m sure I will have “made” 25 different “decisions” between now and then. 

Sorry to be the lil downer here.. as I’m sure you know, I wish I could be posting with GOOD NEWS and happy faces. All I can do at this point is count my blessings, try my best to keep a solid head on my shoulders, and live the life that I have been given to the fullest. 

When I was doing core at the gym today, I was thinking about this post. There was so much that I wanted to include, but to keep it manageable I’m going to split it into two. In my next post, I really want to put together a little timeline of my running history, and how this injury has come into play. More so for myself, but I have gotten a few comments from newer readers who didn’t know I pretty much went through this last year. I think it would also be good to have a little bit of my running history and background so no assumptions are made.. it’s not like this is an overuse injury from suddenly jumping on the I-need-to-do-a-marathon-or-my-life-isn’t-complete-bandwagon (I think that pretty much sums up how I feel about THAT one…). Fibrous dysplasia is a genetic condition you are BORN with, and is something that is beyond my control. A little education goes a long way, and I feel like I could lend a little insight to a couple (or one?) of anonymous commenters. 

Anyways, it’s only 10:00.. it’s Friday night.. and I’m on the couch. Lame, but I’m pulling the get-out-of-jail-free card and saying I’ve had a pretty long day. Week. I’m going to watch the news through the sports and then take the advantage of the night and just crash early. Sleep is super important in recovery, and that’s an easy thing to forget.

(knocked out post surgery – December 2008. LOL I slept like 15 hours a day for like 2 weeks.. thankk you pain meds.)

Truly, I love you guys. Thank you for your support, and yes, your sympathy. I’m a big girl.. I can handle it.

G’night to all.

-E

Well, in short, I will just tell you guys that I had a fun filled day at the hospital. I didn’t want to bring it up earlier on the blog because I already feel like I’m getting all this “sympathy” here at home.. and honestly sometimes it’s just hard to take.

(University of MN Fairview Hospital. photo credit!)

Don’t get me wrong – I am so thankful for my support network: my family, my friends, my teammates, here on the blog.. you guys are all amazing. I think I struggle with even talking about my hip/health problems because that means I’m admitting that there is something wrong there, and that potentially it could be a big deal.

But anyways, yep – the hip. Again. MAYBE. 

I have been experiencing some discomfort/pain/feelings that I know shouldn’t really be there for about a month now. I have an amazing doctor who is the chairman of the sports medicine department at University of Minnesota Fairview. He is also the physician for all of our athletes, and I definitely know I am in good hands. On Tuesday I had xrays done, which were basically inconclusive. Good news is my pins are all still in place… for a while I got myself thinking “what if they’re poking through the other side of the bone!?!”

Today I had lab work at 1:00, injections at 2:00, part 1 of a bone scan at 2:10, a ct scan at 2:40, and part 2 of the bone scan at 4:00. That was all I was scheduled for today, but they could see some “abnormal activity” in the bone scan, so then I went in for a combo PET/CT scan. It was actually really relaxing.. I fell asleep on the table! My only battle wound for the day are a blown vein in my left arm, and a huge blood pool under the surface of the skin on my left hand. I can’t blame them… I have some tiny freaking veins. 

My doctor wanted another doctor to read the scans.. and he said he’d call me within 48 hours, so hopefully then I will have a better idea of what is going on. My plan is to still run Twin Cities Marathon, although ultimately if I’m putting myself at risk of needing another surgery or fracturing something again, I will listen to the advice of my doctor for sure.

Anyways.. just wanted to keep you guys in the loop. I don’t like feeling like I’m hiding something! And as much as the “sympathy” is something that is hard for me to deal with, I am not too big to ask for prayers and thoughts. I really appreciate all the support I have found in you guys in the past, and I know it’ll be there in the future.

I’m off for a quick ride with some of the team.. will be good to clear my head. Be back soon!

-E

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and He separated the light from the darkness. God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning, and ERIKA RAN – the first day.

- Genisis 1

Comrades, the day has finally come – I HAVE OFFICIALLY BEEN CLEARED TO RETURN TO RUNNING. 

That would be the legit note from señor Dr. Denis Clohisy at the University of Minnesota Medical Center, and I have also been cleared by dear Dr. Millis here in Boston, as well as my physical therapist (who I haven’t talked a lot about, but he’s amazing too ), Ian.

Now let’s be clear on some things… “Return to running” does not mean return to where I was at when I stopped. It does also not mean intervals, or tempos, or 400 repeats on the track. It does not mean that in 10 weeks I will be toeing the line at Boston, no matter how badly I want to/how much I think I “could”/how many times I look over at this posted on my wall next to my desk:

Running Boston THIS YEAR is out. You better believe I’m keeping my number though.. because while you can “defer” your time for a second year, you can’t “defer” your payment, and that is $110 I will not be getting back. More than the money though, being able to run, but not being able to RUN, is going to kill me. It already is. Going to watch is going to be ridiculously hard, but there is no way I’m not going. I have two people from home that are flying out here to run, as well as 3 friends from here that are running it this year too. I will be there to support them for sure.

While the news that I get to run again is honestly the best thing I’ve heard since, “Hi, this is Marathon Sports. Your Asics just came in…” it did come with some setbacks. (Oh wait.. so did the Asics situation. Pink? Really? The website said RED.)

Hearing I can run? I’m ecstatic. Thrilled. Elated. Overjoyed. Over the moon. Top of the world. I don’t know how many ways I can say it.. but it couldn’t make me happier. EXCEPT.. I was/am scared. So scared. I’m scared that despite how great my hip (/hips) feel, I’m gonna get out there, and be like, “Shit. It’s not supposed to feel like that.” That hasn’t happened yet, and I feel that with each new run I go on, that fear will dissipate,  but that fear is real. 

So what.. 5 mile? No prob? Mmm… not quite. My doctor cleared me for 10 minutes/2x per day (ideally, or just 20 minutes once). As much as I want to take what he said and be like, “Sure.. no probs.” I honestly know that it’s a bit much. Not that I don’t think I could do that, but because I don’t think I should. The coach here.. even after little stress fractures, he starts his runners out at 10 minutes, every other day. 20 minutes every day.. kinda a big step up from that. I’m sticking to every/other right now for this first week, and I’m planning on evaluating with my PT tomorrow at my appointment. 

So yes. I’m back. Lots is going on right now in my life… I have this huge “Project Lent: 2009″ thing that I’m doing.. more on that later maybe, and oh yeah, that little thing called college:

Sad story – my roomie put my absolute favorite from-home Caribou Coffee travel mug through the DISHWASHER. And the hot water melted the seal. And melted the red outside color. And now its dunzo. She offered to buy me a new one, and I bring to you:

I know I’m all “RunRoamRECYCLE”, but this is kinda overkill. It was the only one that had a solid closing though.. and I need to be able to toss it in my bag, so there you go. “Made with 28% post-consumer recycled content”. Yeah.. it says that.. plus a lot more lil recycle-happy quotes. I am ALL FOR being environmentally conscious, but I don’t like to preach. You’ll never see me wearing one of VS’s “Think Pink, Go Green” shirts. NEVER. 

Oh.. and that lil guy.. I got a new tattoo. It was kinda one of those last minute decision things.. and I’m not so sure about it now. Sorry mom. 

Love to you all, and to all a good night. GREYS!

Aright.. well due to multiple comments I received on that last post (two which were kind and respectful, several which were very NOT), I decided to delete it. Apparently people can’t take the MEDICAL pictures for what they are. Glad we’re all so mature.

So. Here is an altered version of those apparently promiscuous xrays I had up. This first one is from October 30th, before surgery. You might not be able to see the fracture.. but it’s there. If you look at the xray and go left of the greater trochanter, and coming about 2/3s of the way up from the bottom side. 

This is from January 16th, one month and one day after surgery. I had no idea the screws were this big! 

This next one is from the same day. This position is called “The Frog” haha for obvious reasons.

I donno about you.. maybe it grosses you out, but I think it’s pretty awesome. I am so thankful for all the amazing doctors I have been privileged to work with – Dr. Millis, Dr. Clohisy, and Dr. Troung – and then there are all the doctors I saw in the beginning who first diagnosed this problem – Dr. Corrado, Dr. Stein, and Dr. Gephart. I wonder how long I could have/would have kept running on it if Dr. Corrado hadn’t referred me to Dr. Stein. I remember his exact words and the tone of his voice – caring, but serious, “Hey kid, you know your limping? You’re gonna need to get that x-rayed before you can be cleared to run.” Thank you all times 1,000,000. 

I just sent these latest x-rays off to my surgeons at the U of MN this last week, so they should have them by now, and hopefully I can get in touch with them this Monday. I am also supposed to go in for a visit with my surgeon here in Boston for a follow-up. He went out of town last week, but he should be back this week, so hopefully I can get scheduled! My physical therapy also starts up this week – two times a week for now. I’m really excited because I know it will only make me stronger.

Pool workouts and cross training have been going well. My hip honestly feels really good. I told my dad the other day.. I seriously had forgotten what “normal” felt like. I am also really happy with the lifestyle changes that this surgery has brought about. I feel a lot more flexible these days – I feel a lot less concerned with things needing to be so black and white, or so scheduled. Take this: I had signed up for Campus Rec today at the gym.. I’ve taken a lot of the GF classes before, but not this one. Well, after we warmed up and were about 15 minutes in, the instructor said we were going to do suicides, and then go up to the track. Yo dog.. I haven’t been cleared to run yet. And even when I am cleared, it will be easy and short stuff, not suicides and sprints. Instead of thinking “shit.. this was my workout for the day. and I’m already 15 minutes in..” I showed the instructor the big ass scar on my hip, and said “I think I’m gonna have to bail for the rest of class. I haven’t been cleared to run yet..” She was fine with that obvi, and I decided to just call it a day. I have a fun spinning class tomorrow, and I can just make today a rest day. I did some core work, went home and took a shower, and headed to my roomies swim meet!

This is the diving well where I do all my pool running.

My roommate is the one in lane 6 on the far left. She is a killer swimmer.. she made the championship team as a freshman! She rocked it. <3

As far as general life stuff, I have plenty of stuff on my plate right now. We find out if we make it to round 2 of the RA apps at the end of the month, and if we get the position we’ll know by the end of February. I am also toying with the idea of being an orientation leader this summer.. which means being here, in BOSTON, this summer. I’d get to be home for a month between the end of the term and the time OL training starts.. so I donno. It pays pretty dang well, plus room and (partial) board, so it’s something to think about. Sorry about the big gap in posting, but I’ve been adjusting to life as a pre med student and all my sciences classes. I LOVE IT. Greater trochanter? Yep. I knew that one. Maxillary alveolus? Hahaha… still workin’ on it. 

Loves you,
-E 

OH OH OH! Vegetarian disciplinarian?! You left a comment on my last post. I would LOVE to answer any questions you have about Northeastern!! But the email left in your link isn’t working for me for some reason.. shoot me an email with all your questions and I’d be happy to answer! e.imhoff@homail.com

Good morning my lovely bloggies! I’m currently looking out the office window (at home home, still in Minneapolis) at the sparkling snow covered roof above our porch glistening in the sun. I think it’s a little too cold for the birdies to be out and about (they built a nest into the point of the roof), but I don’t blame em’ – it’s still -10° right now, minus the wind chill! Cozying up in warm clothes.. sitting by a fireplace.. maybe a game of Scrabble? S.L.A.P.!  

(Just a taste.. I promise there are pictures at the end of this novel!)

My G-Pa's killer homemade bird feeder. And cutie birdies!

Well, here I am one day past the two week mark from surgery. I don’t have a day-by-day recap for you, since during the second week there were much less of the “milestone” moments. I guess to sum it up, I am still feeling good, not fantastic-amazing-go-run-a-marathon good, but good. I mean, I did have hip surgery just two week ago, so I think I should still be a little sore every now and then, right? I’m trying to get in to see Dr. Troung before I go back to Boston, but tomorrow is New Years day, and then it’s like the weekend.. and I fly back Sunday!?! Grrr. a) I want him to snip the strings.. he said I could do it at home on my own but I’d be much more comfortable in the hands of a trained doctor. b) I want him to see it and make sure everything looks just like it should. c) I need to talk to him about PT and if I need to go see one out in Boston.. and if I need new exercises to get increased mobility (like sideways movement vs. up and down, front and back..).

I know this isn’t part of “week two”, but I got to SWIM on Monday!!! And it was fabulous. I love the pool at my Lifetime SO much. It’s a saltwater pool and it’s not too cold but not nasty warm either. Perfect. Juuust perfect. So Monday was the first day I swam and yeah it felt great, but it still felt sort of tight. I only swam for half the time that I usually do, and all super easy – no need to pull/tear/strain anything on the first day. Then the 2nd day (yesterday, Tuesday) I pool ran for half and swam for half and tried to really focus on stretching out and staying loose with each stroke – it felt amazing!! Leaving Lifetime is going to be R.O.U.G.H. 

So there’s my 2nd week wrap-up for ya. But speaking of leaving Lifetime, I guess I should open this up to everyone and maybe get some feedback – you guys are all so amazing with sharing experiences and “oh.. I did that too!!” that sometimes it feels like were all at some big slumber party. Oh, memories of middle school. Anyway, here’s the deal:

As I think I mentioned before, I am applying to be an RA for next year. Not only is there the obvious benefit (or in my  case, necessity) of free room and board (which at my school is an astoundingly ridic. amount), but I would also be put in a leadership position where I can use my creativity and help other people, something I love. Aright, great. There are some 500+ RA applicants each year, and only about 150 spots. I know I am an Honors student and have a good “resume”, but that doesn’t guarantee Jack. And to be honest, without some extra source of financial aid next year, staying at NU isn’t a guarantee. Less than that actually.. it’s a probable definite no (or maybe I should say probable definite not-a-good-idea, knowing that I’m the one going to be paying too). 

[Warning.. sorry - this is turning into a Monster post!!]

No one is forcing me too, in fact it was sort of my idea, but I am applying to some other schools for next year. Sort of as a back up plan. Sort of. (And I guess I should say school (singular) because the 2nd school I applied to.. I really don’t want to go there. But hey – free app.. why not?) This school is an excellent private school here in MN, and I would not at all feel like it was a “back up” if I ended up going there. In fact, academically, they are a lot more selective than NU. I’m trying not to count my chickens before they hatch – I mean, I haven’t even been accepted there yet. The app. deadline is not for another couple of months, and I wouldn’t find out till I’m already done with the semester out in Boston. But.. by then I will know whether or not I have the RA position.. I’ll be able to weigh my financial aid at each school.. I’ll be able to make some good and fair comparisons. 

You’ve heard me rave time and time again about how much I LOVE Boston and LOVE Northeastern and LOVE LOVE LOVE etc. I know. But being home now for winter break, the FIRST time I’ve been home since I moved… well if you went to school anywhere far from home you know what I’m talking about! Seeing my family and spending time with my mom and my dad and seeing my sister (who is actually now moving to D.C… another story) and being at the lakes and seeing my old running team and AHH. I love Minneapolis! (You’ve also heard me say that one too, to be fair.) Part of me WANTS to transfer (what.. again?) and be close to home. I think my best bit of advice for anyone just starting their college career, or just about to, is that there is no ONE right college, at least IMO. I do love Northeastern. But I think I would equally love “the school” here. (And just to clear things up – no, I’m not headed back to the U. At least not yet.)

Anyways, that’s my dilemma as of yet. If you read through this entire thing – wow.. major props. 

I’m headed out with another DF (haha.. I will never not laugh typing that) to Lifetime for a “spa day” followed by lunch at Panera if we have time. I gave her a gift card there as part of the gift, but she might end up doin’ that one with the BF or another friend. I have movie plans for tonight, and a pretty low key new years - just the way I like it. Hope everyone has an amazing last day of 2008, but if not, hey.. it’s just the last day of the month.. like the last day of any other month. There’s always tomorrow.

(and as I promised, pictures from Christmas!)

The all star grandparents <3

Ry, mom, and me.

Playing with g-ma's manger. My grandpops BUILT that manger. Mad skills..

Working on a secret gift that won't be given until NEXT Christmas

Two of the cuzzos.. champin some Jason Mraz

Back in Minneapolis.. our Christmas tree at HOME

B-T-Dubs.. does anyone need to buy their kid a saxophone!? Hahah - you will find this ad on craigslist.

Lovves,
-E

Arighty.. I’m editing this each day.. so if things change tenses from present to past and I’m confusing, sorry! I’ll post it at the end of “week one”. Here’s a little rundown on how things have gone since surgery:

Monday – Surgery in the A.M. Slept most of the rest of the day. Got to go off of the IV drip by that evening, and finally figured out that pain medications are there for a reason – if it hurts, take them.

Tuesday – Physical therapy at 10:30 am. Was supposed to have a second session at 2:00, but she said I was doing so well with the crutches that I didn’t need it. Well, me and the sticks had a pretty exclusive relationship goin’ on earlier this year, so I’d say yeah – I got em’ down. Left the hospital mid afternoon.. came home to a nonfunctioning heater = I had to relocate to upstairs = I mastered the up-stairs.

Wednesday – Definitely the worst day pain wise. Dr. Truong said it was gonna be though, so at least I knew what was coming. I stayed on the futon the better part of the day.. slept on and off. Worked on some Christmas presents.. worked on an essay.. nothing better to do! Took the Vicodin and Vistaril each every for hours, but I staggered the Vistaril so it was two hours after the Vicodin. Seemed to work OK. My sister and her BF and my dad finally got here from Michigan!

Thursday – Still feeling a good bit of pain in the morning, but feeling much better as the day went on. An old friend who’s home from school at ASU came over in the afternoon and we just talked and caught up for like 4 hours. First attempt at getting out of the house – we went to CostCo. I would like to think it was semi-successful. 

Friday – My mom noted that I was moving a lot better. I started doing alternating feet on the stairs (versus always stepping down with my right.. you know, like you do when you’re little..) although I was using a LOT of support from the railing and wall. Easier to do going down than up, and scary at first, but once I did it once it became easier. I’m figuring out all these little systems to do things. PT exercises going well, except for some reason I can’t do the gluteal squeezes AT ALL on the left side. ?? It’s like the muscle isn’t responding. Despite the Vistaril (which is supposed to be a muscle relaxer) my left thigh is still really tight. Didn’t realize it until I was doing the thigh squeezes that are part of my PT, and realized I couldn’t contract my left thigh muscle because it ALREADY was contracted! Watched a great good movie, The Squid and the Whale, although I hated the ending and hated several parts in the middle. Hahah but aside from those, it was good.

Saturday – Lots better! Big milestone – slept on my stomach for part of the night! It’s hard because I’ve ALWAYS slept on my left side, which is obviously a no-can-do right now. Sleeping on my stomach lets me relax my leg muscles a little. Another big milestone – I SHOVELED!! I never thought that sentence would end with exclamation marks, but it was great. I felt really good in the morning, and promised my mom that if it hurt at all, or felt “off”, I would stop right away and come in. Well let me tell you.. I shoveled our whole entire corner lot plus both walkways and the front steps. And it was fabulous. Plus, the fresh air felt sooo good in my lungs! Ahhh before long, I’ll be RUNNNNING! Back at CostCo today, but I used the electric cart [with success] this time. Didn’t want to do too much on my feet all in one day.

Sunday - Ohh such a roller coaster. Daily milestone: slept on my side. Not my surgery side of course.. but I put a pillow between my legs so my knee and hip were supported, and it worked pretty well. I also am taking the meds less frequently. I got to/had to shovel again this morning (it snowed for 14 hours straight yesterday!) and that still felt good. It was WAYY colder today than yesterday though, and I don’t know if that affects how my bones feel? Anyways, was fine until about noon, when I started feeling sick to my stomach. We left for CostCo (again.. damn Christmas card is more work than it’s worth!) and didn’t end up coming home until 4:45, and I felt sicker than ever. Which is where I’m sitting right now, on the couch, like I’m about to throw up. If something has to hurt, I’m glad it’s my stomach and not my hip. Still can’t seem to do the gluteal squeeze on the left side.. other PT exercises are going well. 

And because I need to post something, here is the dang Christmas card that I made that has been so much trouble to print. Grrr. But they’re finally done, and they look pretty. My mom, myself, and my sister. 

Love yall,
-E

GOOODNESS GRACIOUS! Cold is an understatement. Granted it’s gorgeous outside – sparkly snow, shining sun, birdies flitting around – but the roads are dead and no one is outside because its SO COLD! The thermometer on my dashboard (it’s a mac thing ) said it was -8°, and the high for today is -2°. Mind you that is a sans windchill temperature, in which case (according to WCCO) it “feels like” -20°. Mmm yeah, struggling with a 15° day in Boston? Cut your complainin.

Now why, may you ask, was I out bearing the elements? I got to SHOVEL! And I shoveled yesterday morning too! Not a big deal? Think again my friend.. the ability to shovel is something that will not be taken for granted around here. My hip is seriously improving exponentially each day. Dr. Clohisy and Dr. Troung both said I’d be surprised  by how quickly things start to change, and they were both right. It. Is. Amazing. And I am happy.

I have a post going that is a day-by-day-milestones recap of how things have been going this first week. I am going to post it tomorrow morning, as that will be ONE FULL WEEK! I’m torn between being so excited that this is going so quickly, and being sad because.. it’s going so quickly! I’m only home until the 4th!!

I’m off to take a shower and warm up a bit. Oh yes.. showers! Another thing that shouldn’t be taken for granted. Btw.. yo amo mucho el Holidazzle Parade del Minneapolis. Tonight is the last one of the year!

I realized I better post this sooner rather than later – I don’t want anyone thinking something went wrong!

Because it didn’t.. my surgeon said everything went just like they planned. I actually have a very strong femur and very strong bones.. it just happens to be that the femoral neck, while strong, is not normal. They did biopsy the area that they are thinking is FD, but until the biopsy results come back, it is just the working diagnosis. 

I asked my mom to help with photos, and she definitely had no problem with that! My mom takes more pictures than anyone I know. LOL – I’m sure you’ve seen someone retake the SAME photo about 30 times to get it just right.. well, she’s one of those someones. I’ll take you from start to finish in Sperly style..

Packing up my overnight bag. For once, I didn’t forget anything major! Btw.. you guys like the haircut? This isn’t the greatest photo of it.. but I LOVE having short hair again!

Please ignore the rather large smudge taking over the table. As you can see.. my mom and I came prepared. I actually didn’t bring that much.. most of what’s filling my bag is my pillow and teddy. (Yes.. I am in college. And I sleep with a Teddy bear.) We left the house at 5:00 am because we had to be there by 6:00, hence the face on my face. 

Oh the joy of the self timer. Haha I think we took 10 of these. This is pre-op, after I got my IV in and everything. I’ve had blood drawn plenty of times, and have never been told my veins were too small. Wellll judging by the multiple attempts to get an IV in me, I guess I’ll agree.. my veins are small! The guy gave up on trying to get it in my hand, and just put it in my forearm.

Talking to my dad and sister right before I went in to surgery. They were driving back from Michigan, and roads were TERRIBLE. My sister graduated the night before from U of Michigan.. and now she’s home!

Post-op.. after I had moved from the recovery room up to the 8th floor. Room 828.. which I didn’t leave for a solid 24 hours! I was so curious about what was out there, since my mom kept coming and going and I could hear other people or their machines beeping away.. I did eventually get to leave thank goodness

Uuuugh gross picture. But I was in the hospital, so what  can you do. I said I’d blog from there since I’d have so much free time, but honestly, I just slept.. a LOT. Plus the wireless was really shotty there so I couldn’t even connect the majority of the time. Sorry!

Hahah I am such a coffee snob. I couldn’t have any coffee before surgery obviously, so this was the first coffee I had, a WHOLE DAY later. The coffee they brought on the tray wasn’t even like Folger’s.. it was below Folger’s. (No offense to any Folger’s drinkers.. but that’s what working in a coffee shop does to you!) There was a little Starbucks cart down in the cafe (or so I’m told.. I never got to venture that far) so when my mom went to go get coffee (yes, she’s a coffee snob too), I asked if she would get me one. And get me one she did – it was BIG! I guess I’m just used to splitting it up into two mugs.. but that size looked so big! After this I definitely was in a much better mood..

And here is me, in my better post-coffee mood. It was also nice to be able to put a real shirt on, and underwear (gasp!!). I’m thinking I also had Vicodin a little before this.. because believe me, that smile was not permanent. 

Going over the PT exercises that I have to do. This lady was super nice, and she said I did so well with getting up and getting around that I didn’t have to stay for my 2nd PT appointment. Cleared!

Crutches? Hmm.. where have I seen those before?

Finally! Venturing out of room 828! All of about 30 feet down the hall and back, but still, seeing the “outside” was fabulous. No prob. with the crutches.. I’ve been a master at those for a good minute.

Practicing stairs.. unfortunately we have a whole lot more stairs in our house than these two little dinky ones, but I’ve been managing them alright. These PT rooms remind me of the play rooms in my mom’s school for the little kids – I used to LOVE going to work with her just to play in there!

Before checking out, remember to have your IV removed! And that face is not a yawn, it’s an “oh shit that tape hurts!” Also in that photo are my meds.. I am currently taking Vistaril and Norco (Vicodin), alternating every two hours. The morphine that they had in my IV gave me a KILLER headache, so bad that it made me nauseous, and then they had to give me a nausea medication which just made it worse.. lol it was bad. 

So, like I said, the surgeons said the procedure was very successful. I have three pins screwed through my femoral neck, and those should be good and strong for a long time to come. They had to cut through some of the muscles along the outside of my hip, which they sewed (is that the right word?) back together just fine, but it has made my entire left side of my thigh sore and bruised feeling. I am managing the pain OK by staying on top of my medications, but yesterday and today definitely hurt. The doctor said these would be the worst two days, and then it will get better from here. I’m counting on that because even with medication, it definitely hurts right now.

I can’t take a shower till FRIDAY (uugh) but my mom washed my hair in the sink for me this morning, and finally I feel CLEAN! I am just taking things day by day, knowing that it will get better and easier. Don’t laugh.. but I’ve ALWAYS wanted to ride one of those power carts at the grocery store and Target and stuff. My mom and I are going to CostCo tonight to fulfill my dream. Hopefully I will never again have a legitimate reason to use one, and least not any time soon! 

Annnnd, my sister and her BF and my dad are back! Even though my dad’s not staying here it’s just really good to see him and give him a hug. I’m taking advantage of all this down time – I got some good xmas stuff done yesterday (no details.. family reads!) and am getting more done today. But for now my friends, I feel like I should sign off. The Vistaril makes me super drowzy, and I guess it’s hitting hard. I legit keep closing my eyes like every 3 sentences. 

Thank you everyone for all your support. I am so glad I didn’t delete this blog all the 100 times I have come so close! Thannnk you x 1,000,000!

E

This is a difficult post for me to write, so in attempts to keep today tear-free, I’ll try to be as doctorly/straight forward about it as possible. A little review: going into this doctors appointment yesterday, there were three options. 

1. Do nothing.. with the exception of possibly trying a bone growth stimulator. Even if the fracture healed and I returned to running, it would basically be like running on eggshells. The fibrous dysplasia ain’t goin’ anywhere, and if I fell or the bone fractured all the way through, that would be “catastrophic”. (Words from both of my doctors, not mine. But with my future in medicine, I will agree, it would be pretty tragic.) Blood loss to the femoral head can lead to bone death.. leading to a full hip replacement.. leading to a place where I don’t want to be.
2. Hip pinning. Several pins would be inserted through my femoral neck, in hopes to strengthen the area of dysplasia, and stabilize the hip. Both of my doctors think I would be able to run again after this procedure. One risk is that the pins are not always comfortable, which could hamper the running portion of this equation. This procedure also does nothing to fix the coxa vara, which is the downward angle that my femoral head has grown into after all these years. I will likely always have a slight limp, but I have had a slight limp all my life, so that is no real change.
3. Femoral osteotomy. That’s the deal where they basically sever my femur and tip the bone back up, correcting the coxa vara. There would be plates put in to stabilize the area. Plates are a lot bigger than pins, and a lot harder to hide in a small framed body. This surgery has a longer recover process than the pinning. 

If you read my last post, you know that thinking about this has been wearing me down beyond belief. One minute I think I should have surgery, and the next is like “wait a minute.. I don’t wanna do that!” I know it sounds selfish, but my decision and thought process is completely driven by what will allow me to be a runner again. And by runner, I don’t mean I want to jog for around the lake. I mean I want to be back to where I was. I want to be able to race Boston. I want to break 3 hours. I want to be the Garmin loving, 60 mile per week, permanent sports bra tan kind of girl that  I used to be. I know I should be thankful that my condition is not worse, because believe me, it could be. But to be honest, all  I want to do is run. 

Driving home from the airport, I came down 36th and hit the lake, and it took all of 5 seconds for me to start balling. All I kept saying was, “I don’t want to have surgery. I just want to run again.” Well, it looks like I may have to compromise a little bit.

Dr. Clohisy and I both agreed that surgery is the best and safest option. He is not forcing me to do this. My mom is not forcing me. No coach is forcing me. This is honestly a decision that was made as a team, and I know it is the right thing to do. That does not mean it’s the thing I want to do, but it is the thing I know I need to do. Life doesn’t always get to be about what we want, but I am keeping in mind the words I quoted a few weeks ago:

Occasionally you’ll be distracted and knocked off course for a while. On a regular basis, life will have its disappointments.

Those disappointments and distractions do not have to stop you. In fact, you can choose to let them inspire you and to push you forward.

No matter what has just happened, you are free in this moment to act with positive purpose. Whether the past has worked in your favor or not, the future is yours to create as you wish.

Life is too important to waste it feeling sorry for yourself or beating yourself up. Get up and get on with life, and make it match your highest expectations.

I WILL run again, and I WILL be happy, damnit! The decision has been made and I’m not going to contemplate any “what ifs” anymore. So.. here’s the deal:

We decided on the hip pinning procedure. There is an official word for it, but I can’t think of it at the moment, so lets just stick with pining. The surgery is at 8:00 am on Monday, which means I need to be there by 6:00, which means we will probably have to leave the house at 5:00 because there’s a huge snow storm that is supposedly hitting us on Sunday. Honestly.. it takes 15 minutes to drive there, but I’ll let you tell that to my mom. Whatever.. it’s not like I need to worry about getting sleep. I’ll be knocked out all day I’m sure. I’m thinkin’ it’ll look a little like this:

Dr. Clohisy said that this is a “no restrictions recovery”, meaning everything is based on my comfort level. He thinks that I can be back in the pool in two weeks, and back to beginning running in 6. That is honestly a lot shorter than I expected, so as you can imagine, I was very pleased when I heard that. I know people are going to jump in and be like “You know you obviously can’t run like you used to, right?” and no.. I’m not stupid. I’m not going to try and pull 60 miles the first week back. I know what beginning to run again is like – it sucks – but trust me.. any running is better than none. 

My mom is taking off work to be there with me, and my dad and sister will be back in town Monday evening. I am going to make this a positive experience in my life. Who knows, maybe I will be stronger and faster in the long run? Either way, God would not have placed this challenge in front of me if it was unsurmountable. I’m gonna rock this surgery and recovery.. because I can. I apologize in advance, but cocky is a good thing for me right now.. it’s pushing me forward. Thank you all so much for all the words of encouragement and advice and the ehugs, because I needed every single one of them. 

I’ll be bloggin’ from the hospital, I’m sure, so hang with me here! I also have some lovely LIFETIME FITNESS news to share with you.. and I want you all to get amped for it now because it’s gonna be great. I’m off for a walk around the lake with a DF (haha yes, that still stands for dear friend in my book!) and a Target extravaganza tonight. Have a lovely weekend everyone.